Sorry for being irresponsive lately. I am currently translating something very important and that might still take a while to get done.
Also, I just have to rant on my family constantly getting in the way of work.Last Saturday we attended my cousin’s wedding, which is not bad in itself, but steals an entire day. And it gave me a bad case of stomachache.
On Sunday we visited my grandfather, which also takes an entire day. There is no such thing as “dropping by for a minute”. If we do visit grandpa, it’s four hours at least, more like six. And a waste of time, in most cases. We have dinner, rest, watch TV, talk a little – in general, we waste time, doing absolutely nothing productive. When I think of everything I could have written or drawn during that time, it frustrates me to no end.
I don’t want to be impolite, but I absolutely cannot stand family gatherings, or gatherings of any sort. After a while I feel the need to isolate myself, to be alone, curl up on some sofa and cut myself away from reality. And wait until the visit is over.
I got along better with my grandmas. We were a tad more on the same frequency. That and the both of them isolated themselves, since it hurt them too much to sit at the table for longer time periods. So the grandma and I rested together in a separate room and had some peace.I’m actually surprised I miss that. The good old times.
I really do perceive people in terms of their usability for me. A part of me feels like a selfish monster – like an autistic sociopath I was so sure I wasn’t. Another part says I have the right for such feelings. That it’s just natural to like certain family members more than others. That I have the right to be mad at my family for usurping my time. That I have only begun to establish my position as an adult, that I am progressing, but will still take a while.
I am ranting more than I had intended to. But whatever.
On a positive note – I have completed raw dialogues for part 4 of “Gift of a Mother” and begun filling in the narrative.